OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
my vag is so smooth its legendary
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
