Acid is not a monday night drug
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
