Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
