Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
