I just saw a hot homeless man
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
