we have officially lost it.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I would ride that face into the sunset
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
