Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
the raccoons are back...
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