just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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