also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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