Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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