i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I believe in your delicious
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
