man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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