Pappa wants mamma naked
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
