Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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