do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
