nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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