Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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