i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
