About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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