The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
