shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
