I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
