I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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