I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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