A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize