You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
