Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
