Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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