I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Porn is love you can see.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
