And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Randomize
