OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
