I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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