You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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