I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
