By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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