"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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