didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
