I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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