ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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