Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
