so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
