That's when you crack a 10am beer
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
