My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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