we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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