Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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