I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
