This is not my ceiling
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
