He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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