I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
and you fell through a lawn chair
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
