he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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