the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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