So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
