last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
